Angels & Demons
by Shinigamis Night
Summary: Harry, a young man who grew up only knowing uncertainty and upheaval after his parents died on their anniversary, suddenly finds himself having to make the decision of his life. One could destroy the world, the other could save it. AU no Hogwarts. Slash.
1. Chapter 1: The Boy Who Wasn't Wanted

Warnings: OOC, Yaoi/Slash, Abuse (mostly implied. no dursley abuse)

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Harry hated what he saw around, everything. He hated the people most of all; well, maybe not the individual and kids, but people in general. They caused nothing but pain, hurting each other.

The hate, or at least a general dislike, started when he was left with aunt and uncle, Petunia and Vernon Dursley, after his parents were shot by a mugger on their fifth anniversary. Three year old Harry had been at home with the nanny.

His aunt and uncle had seen him as a financial burden, after he had been placed with their family after spending a couple of weeks with foster parents. Although, Harry had to admit that what they thought was at least partly true; the Dursleys had little money to spend on an extra child. They had wanted give their son, Dudley, anything he could possibly ever want, then Harry came along. Now they had less to spend on him so that Harry was taken care off.

Things had been fine for Harry's first year with the Dursleys, they treated him and Dudley the same and Harry was friends with his cousin. The two four year old boys would play for hours, often getting good and muddy in the back yard. The Dursleys had accepted him into their family. Then Vernon was laid off from his job. The money became thin and the Dursleys once again began to see Harry as a burden, they felt their son was suffering in favor of Harry. Dudley himself didn't see what going on, but Harry did. Harry saw the looks his relatives began to direct at him, the way they started to treat him differently. He couldn't understand why, at the time; he was too young. But he knew it wasn't good.

At first, Harry would simply catch them glaring at him, from time to time, or look sadly at Dudley. Then, they seemed to forget about him, like they would sometimes call Dudley to dinner, but not him. At first he thought it was a mistake, then it became obvious even to him that something was wrong when the Dursleys bought ice cream for desert one night, something both him and Dudley loved, then gave none to him. Harry had asked if he could have any and they told him no; 'Ice cream is only for good boys' his aunt said. Harry had cried for the first time since his parents died. What did he do?! Was it because he got his clothes dirty again? But Dudley's clothes were even muddier than his. He couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.

He pleaded with Petunia, saying he would be good, but her reply only made him cry more. "There's nothing you can do Harry, you're a bad little boy, so you don't get any ice cream. Now go clean your room." She had said it nicely enough, but there were now tears streaming down Harry's face as went went to his room.

Things continued that way, until one afternoon, after playing with Dudley, he went upstairs to find his aunt packing all his things into a suitcase. Were they going on a trip? Harry got excited and went to go tell Dudley, but Petunia stopped him before he could. "Go out to the car, Harry. Vernon is waiting outside for you. I'll be down in a moment." He was puzzled, but he did as asked. Sure enough, his uncle was waiting in the driver seat. He started to get in the back seat, but his uncle motioned for him to get in the front. The front! He never got to sit in the front, they always said him and Dudley were both too young.

A few moments later Petunia came, carrying his bag with Dudley running behind her. "Where's Harry going, mommy?" He asked while jumping up and down.

"He's going to visit some family on his father's side, honey."

"Can I go, too?" The hyper little kid asked her.

"I'm sorry, but no, sweety. But I'm sure your father will pick up some ice cream for you on the way back." Dudley squealed at this.

//More family?// Harry mentally wondered, now more excited. But he wished Dudley could come too. He hoped he wouldn't be gone too long.

Petunia put the bag in the trunk while Harry got in the car. He waved to Dudley, who happily waved back, and Petunia until they were out of sight.

He sat in silence as his uncle drove for a few moments before turning to Vernon. "What are they like?" he asked happily. He had never met any of the rest of his family. Harry had never even thought about having more family until that day.

"Hm?" His uncle seemed to think for a moment. "Oh, they're nice people. They'll take care of you Harry."

"Take care of me?" Harry was puzzled. He didn't understand.

"Harry, I know you're young, but you know we've been having money trouble recently?" Vernon asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yes, uncle Vernon."

"Well, Harry... we can't afford to keep you. We can't take care of both you and Dudley."

//Can't keep me?// Harry's young mind just barely grasped the subject. "You don't want me?" He felt tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Harry, it's not that Petunia and I don't want you. It's just... Dudley, our son, is very important to us. We want to be able to take care him, give him nice clothes, food, games, have the money to send him to a good school when the time comes. You do understand school, right?"

Harry nodded, sniffing, wet eyes directed at the floor of the car.

"Well, those things cost money, lots of it."

"If I get a job, like you, will you keep me?" Harry asked.

"Don't be silly. A boy your age can't get a job, Harry. Now stop crying; you're going and that's that."

Harry wiped his face with the back of his hand. He hoped his new family would want him, but he didn't want to leave the Dursleys. They had been this family for the past two years.

"That's better, Harry." His uncle replied, seeing that harry had stopped crying. Vernon really felt guilty for want he was about to do, but he and Petunia had agreed; this was for the best. Harry would better taken care of as well.

Vernon finally stopped the car in front of a tall brick building. //I'm sorry, Harry.// "Here's your new home."

Harry looked out the window. He couldn't read the sign very well, but he was suddenly scared.

The sign read "New Madison Orphanage". 


	2. Chapter 2

New Madison was everything you would expect it to be, but for a child it can be terrifying. At least, at first. Although, after the first few weeks, months if they were resilient, Harry, like all the other children, found it all too easy to be disheartened and bitter.

At first Harry couldn't accept that he would be living here, in a place like this. Uncle Vernon was only playing a game; he would come back. Or, Uncle Vernon had been telling the truth and his other family would come get him.

At first, Harry had cried nearly every day, until there were no more tears to cry. Even if he couldn't cry, Harry held onto the belief that family would come. There had to be someone who wanted him.

Harry was adopted for the first time after two months. Madeline, the women taking care of his group, bustled around, getting him ready. She was always nice, unlike Mr. Riddle, who sometimes volunteered at the orphanage. He was a tall thin man with dark brown hair, cheerful, but Harry didn't like how the man stared at him. He was creepy.

"They're a real nice family, Harry." Madeline said, smiling, shaking Harry from his thoughts on Mr. Carrow. "They have a couple of other boys your age. Friends! And you'll be starting school soon, isn't that great?!"

Harry smiled back, almost as happy as she. A family! Harry hoped they were his, but there was a lingering doubt. What they decided they couldn't keep him?

The Prewetts were waiting for Harry, when he and Madeline arrived in the main office. Harry thought they looked nice enough, although they didn't look a thing like him. But, then again, all of the Dursley's were blond, and they were family. Were they his other family?

"Welcome Harry, having a good day aren't you? Have a candy." Harry smiled at the old man and reached into the jar to pull out the small lemon shaped candy. Blech- It wasn't sweet. Harry wanted to spit it back out, but knew he shouldn't.

"Of yes, I forgot to tell you they were sugar-less," Dumbledore explained after seeing Harry's reaction. "Can't have the younglings jumping of the walls, can I?" Taking pity on the boy, he pulled a trash-can out from under his desk. Harry noticed as he spit out the candy that there were several others littering the bottom.

"Say thank you." Harry looked up startled. Mrs. Prewett had spoken. She was smiling, but there was some thing about it that made Harry slightly uncomfortable.

"Thank you," Harry mumbled.

"I think it's important a child has manners, don't you?" Mrs. Prewett explained to Mr. Dumbledore, grinning.

"Yes, very important." The old man answered. "But to get to business. As you already know, Mr. and Mrs. Prewett, your request to adopt our young Harry has been approved. However, here at New Madison we like to give our children a chance to decide for themselves. Only in extreme circumstances do we let a child be adopted when they do not wish to be, when we feel it would be highly beneficial, you understand."

The Prewetts nodded in agreement. Harry was listening with rapt attention; there were a few large words, but it wasn't too hard to understand. He could pick his family!

The meeting went on for about another fifteen minutes before Dumbledore and Madeline left the room, leaving Harry and the Prewetts alone in the office. At least Harry thought they were alone; the Prewetts knew there were most likely cameras in the office.

"Hello, Harry. I'm Mildred and this is my husband, John. I hope you'll come to think of us as family, real soon."

"Like wise." John ruffled Harry's hair, making the boy smile slightly. "We have two other boys, Mickenzy and Robert. They were adopted, like you, years ago. You see, my wife and I can't have children of our own, but have always wanted a large family. We'll take good care of you, Harry, if you'll have us."

"I heard you like ice cream. We'll get you a large bowl of it, before going home. Please come with us." Mildred stepped in. By this point, Harry was brimming with happiness. Ice cream and a family!

"Yes! I want to be your family," Harry yelled.

"That's nice, Harry." Mildred hugged him close.

They talked a bit longer more before Dumbledore stepped back in.

"I trust a decision has been made?" Both the Prewetts and Harry nodded. "Well, then. You are free to go. Madeline will bring Harry's bags to your car. I congratulate you all, and I trust Harry will be taken care of." Dumbledore shook both John's and Mildred's hand, then Harry's.

They drove home with Harry merrily sitting in the back seat. they weren't like the Dursley's; they wanted him! Although, he did miss Dudley... Maybe the Prewetts would let Harry see him! And like promised, they stopped for ice cream.

Harry instantly liked the house when he saw it. It looked like it had just been painted, nice and clean. After they went inside, Harry saw that the inside was just as nice. But he didn't see any signs of any other kids. There weren't any toys. His wanders were answered when Mr. Prewett called out the boys names and he heard running from somewhere within the house. The first thing he noticed when he saw them was how dirty they were; but no more so than when him and Dudley had played in the backyard. They looked slightly older than Harry. He hoped they would let him play with them.

"Harry, this is Mackenzie," he put his hand on the red-haired boy's shoulder and the other hand on the other, brown-haired, boy's, "and this is Robert." Harry thought Robert looked nice enough, but Mackenzie... there was something about him. Neither boy spoke. Why did Robert look sad?

"Harry, Mackenzie will show you were you will be staying. Robert, get busy." John commanded suddenly, causing Harry to jump slightly.

Mackenzie grabbed own of Harry's arms and pulled him to a nearby door. After it was swung open, Harry realized it led to the basement. He didn't want to go down there! But was being drug down anyway, through numerous spider-webs on the dark stairway.

Mackenzie didn't turn on a light until they were at the very bottom. This was nothing like upstairs. It was dank, dirty, and dark were the light from the single bulb didn't reach. Harry hated it. What was going on?

"Put this on." Harry jumped and looked up at the other boy just as a bundle of cloth was thrown at him.

"But-" Harry started to ask.

"Shut up! put your old clothes in the rag corner." Mackenzie pointed to a corner, were, sure enough, were rags. Why put his clothes there?

Harry finally did as the older boy commanded. The clothes, if you could call them that, were like nothing he had worn before. These had holes, stains and were way too big. Plus, the floor was ice cold under his now bare feet. Were these play clothes? But Harry had a feeling they weren't. Mackenzie ordered him back upstairs Where John and Mildred were waiting.

They no longer looked so nice. "Good job, Mackenzie. You may go." The other boy walked out the room, leaving him with them.

Harry stood and fidgeted for a moment while the Prewetts glared down at him.

"Now boy, I don't know how you think things are supposed to go, but here, you do not speak unless spoken to and you do not do anything we do not tell you to do. Is that clear."

"Yes-" Suddenly the boy was slapped so hard it sent him back a couple of steps. That was the last straw for Harry, and a loud wail came out of his mouth.

There were hands clamped around is arms, shaking him. "Stop it, you stupid boy! You stop it this instant or you won't eat for a month!" Mildred yelled over his crying.

Harry did his best to stop, but only managed to stop screaming.

"We won't punish you this time, since you are new, but neither me or my wife will tolerate this type of behavior. Now, you will not get dinner tonight, expecially since you had that 'treat' earlier, for which you did nothing to deserve. Now go upstairs and clean the bathroom and you had better do it good, boy. We'll be in the bedroom when you're done."

The Prewetts left Harry, still trying to understand. But there was one thing he did know.

He wished he was still with the Dursley's. 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I love planet of the apes (the old movie). I know that has nothing to do with this story but I had to say it!

The first week of trial and error was hell for five year old Harry. It would have been hell for anyone for that matter.

Harry learned not to cry in that week. It only made things worse.

The Prewetts had Harry, along with Mackenzie and Robert, who Harry found out were nine and eight, wait on them hand and foot. Mackenzie was in charge of the two younger boys, and was usually the one to punish Harry if the Prewetts considered it to be a minor in infraction. Harry hated it when the boy would order him around, push him, shove him, step on his hands, and other things. But it was nothing compared to what Mr. Prewett would do when Harry was really in trouble. Actually, the first punishment was on the first day.

After the 'family' had gone upstairs, leaving Harry to clean the bathroom, they hadn't know (didn't care), that the boy had no idea how to clean a bathroom. He didn't even know where it was.

But Harry was afraid of what would happen if he disobeyed them, and he wanted his other clothes when he finished, so he walked around the house. He found Robert, when looking out the window. Harry could only guess that he was pulling out the grass; he didn't know why, but decided not to bother him. Harry didn't know if he wanted to find Mackenzie; the older boy scared him almost as much as the Prewetts.

Harry did eventually locate a bathroom; there was only one that he could find. Then Harry was left with the next dilemma; how did you clean a bathroom? He tried to remember what his Aunt Petunia would do. First, he thought, she would clean the mirror. That seemed easy enough, except he couldn't reach it and he didn't have a wash cloth, like she did. Harry saw a stained cloth hanging on the wall low enough that he could reach. She also had a spray-bottle; he found one under the sink. He made quick work of the mirror, after figuring out he could stand on the toilet and then climb to the sink. The tub would be next. The toilet was gross. Harry's nose and eyes were starting to sting, but he then started one the walls and floor. After what felt like hours, he heard footsteps coming down the steps. They would see that he had done a good job! He could be a good boy...

"What the hell have you done!" John's voice bellowed, as he grabbed Harry's arm, wrenching it almost out socket.

"C-cleaned the b-bathroom?" Harry hiccuped.

"Does this look clean?" Harry looked around. Everything was... Pink spots? Sure enough the blue wallpaper was soaked and peeling in some places. And red in many places it should have been blue. Also, there was water everywhere; even the carpet outside the bathroom was soaked and was now starting to change color. "What did you use, boy!"

"Spray-bottle." Harry pointed a trembling finger to where it was still on the counter.

"Idiot! That was bleach!" He twisted Harry's arm, making the boy cry out. "I'll give you something to cry about, if you want to cry." John started to drag Harry up the stairs outside the bathroom. "Damn boy hasn't stopped that stupid crying since he got here and thinks he can ruin our things. Yeah, I'll give him something to cry about, alright." John muttered to himself. Just as the man reached for the knob, Mackenzie came out. The boy only glared at him as he walked past; John ignored him and pulled Harry into the room. Mildred was watching them from the bed

"Take off your shirt and hold the post," he ordered Harry. After a moment of hesitation, he was quick to do as asked. Things were quiet for moment, then Harry heard a rustle of clothes. Suddenly, Harry felt a pain in his back so bad he screamed and fell to his knees. "Yead, now that's real crying." John grinned in a way that scarred Harry as the man wiped his tears. The man backed away and Harry hoped he was done, but John ordered him to stand back up and hold the post again. Harry was sure he couldn't and stayed on floor until a hand jerked him up. "Hold the post! I'm not going to ask again." The belt came down on Harry's back again and this time when Harry fell he tried to climb under the bed. Unfortunately, John grabbed his leg and slung the belt anyway.

This continued for a few more minutes, until John was satisfied that the tears had stopped. Harry couldn't stand, and Robert had to come and take him back to the basement. Harry passed out, shortly after being laid on the floor, while Robert managed to clean his back with his ration of water. He wouldn't be getting anymore that week, but he hated to see the younger boy so bloody.

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Harry tried to run away two weeks later. He hadn't eaten in days and he hated it there. The boy would have given anything to get away. The first problem was that he was never aloud outside, only Robert and Mackenzie. He almost asked Robert for help, but he didn't want to get the other boy in trouble.

He finally got his chance when the Prewetts left the three boys alone in the house. Robert and Mackenzie both looked at him, as he walked towards the door; Robert looked sad as usual, but Mackenzie looked just mean. Harry ignored them and turned the lock. The door opened! Instantly, Harry took off running, but he only made it to the end of the second block before he heard a car come up behind him. Harry had a moment of pure terror as he saw John glaring at him out the window. "Get in!" The man growled, while opening the car door. Harry wondered if he could outrun the car, but decided he couldn't. Pale with fear, he climbed over John. He paused for a moment, not sure where he was going. Mildred was in the other seat, looking equally furious, but Mr. Prewett had opened his door for Harry. Backseat? "Sit there." John pointed to the space between the seat; harry had to put his legs on either side of the gear shift.

The drive back lasted less than a minute, but, for Harry, it felt like forever, as he longingly stared out the windshield.

Again after they got back, John dragged Harry back into the bedroom. It was an hour before Robert was aloud to drag Harry's limp body back into the basement.

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Dumbledore's assistant, Minerva McGonnagal, came to check on Harry at the one month point. Unfortunately, the Prewetts had planned for this, and Harry found there was another large bedroom upstairs. It had three beds and the room look like three young boys lived there; there were toys tossed hear and there, clothes hanging off of bedpost, on the bed and on the floor. There was nothing that would make McGonnagal, suspect the boys really lived in the basement. The Prewetts even had given the boys decent clothes to wear; not too new, that would have looked suspicious, like the they had known the assistant would be showing up for a surprise inspection. Of course, the Prewetts had thought to threaten the boys, in case they acted up. The basement was locked, Mildred explained that the tools were kept down there and it would be too dangerous for the boys, which McGonnagal completely agreed with. And the faint bruises and scrapes were from rough play. Boys would be boys.

Over all, Minerva McGonnagal suspected nothing worse in this house, than three young rough-housing boys. 


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I'm going to starting skipping years in this chapter; I hope it isn't too many. This isn't really and action packed chapter, but it was needed to further the story. And thanks for the reviews. And thrnbrooke, I look for your reviews every time, thanks!

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Things continued as usual for a couple more months, Harry cleaned the house, as he wasn't trusted to work outside, Robert did the yard work and everything else that could be done outside, and Mackenzie... Harry couldn't figure out what Mackenzie did, although the boy carried just as many bruises as the rest of them. Yes, Harry had been punished several more times. As unthinkable it is for a young boy, now six years old, to clean a whole house on his own, the Prewetts expected it. They didn't deserve to live in a dirty house and why should they pay a maid? He should have been happy to serve them! At least that was the way they felt and punished Harry severely for any mistake. The only thing they didn't make him clean was the blood off the wooden floor after whipping him; Robert had to do it so the floor wouldn't stain in the time it took Harry to regain consciousness.

Harry liked Robert, he was the only one nice to him.

Harry's birthday was one of the worst days, although not because anything special happened. Harry was too terrified to ask about his birthday, even if he hoped for a present. So he said nothing and the day passed by as usual; that was when it began to occur to him that they really didn't care.

Harry grew more sad and withdraw until he spoke to no one, not even Robert. Not that he could talk to the other boy often.

Harry did get to go to primary school this year, as Madeline had promised, along with Robert and Mackenzie, who both had already started. He was starting a year late, but the Prewetts explain his situation and the school was happy to accept him. Harry did enjoy it, but his teachers noticed almost immediately that he seemed more reserved than most of the other students. However, they had decided that the cause was being left in an orphanage and the deaths of his parents. No one thought to question him home life.

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At least nothing changed until he was nine and the school got a new teacher to replace one that had retired. Nymphadora Tonks had taken notice of Harry right away. The first thing she noticed was that the boy seemed to have no friends; which was odd for a child his age. The other thing she noticed was that he always sat in front, diligently working, until one day. He had arrived to her class late and all the seats close to the board were taken, forcing him to the back. For the rest of the class he did nothing but lay him head on the desk and appear to go to sleep.

Nymphadora was mildly irritated, but decided that he might have have been feeling sick and told him to stay after class.

"Mr. Prewett," she stated, using the name she had on her role, noticed that the young boy had winced as she did so. "Mr. Prewett, I'm sure that you know students aren't allowed to sleep in class."

Harry nodded, although he hated being referred to as 'Mr. Prewett'. It wasn't his name.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to give you a detention and call your parents." She him mutter something in response but didn't quite hear him. "Please repeat, I didn't quite get that." Nymphadora asked.

"I couldn't see the board, professor." He said said quietly, staring at his shoes.

She was taken back for a moment. Couldn't see the board? She didn't see how no one else had noticed. Was he lying to her? Nymphadora liked to be nice to her students, however, she hated being lied to. "I've heard nothing of this from your parents or your other professors. Are you lying to me, Mr. Prewett?"

"No, Professor. I try to stay in the front."

Nymphadora wasn't sure if she believed him, but decided it was best to send him to the nurse, then question some of his other teachers later during the lunch break.

She quickly wrote him a pass to get a check-up and sent him on his way so she could get ready for the next class.

When lunch time came around Nymphadora went to the teachers cafeteria, as usual. Truthfully, many of the other teachers despised or hated her, being that she was both younger than the majority of them and they felt she was trying to take the place of the teacher who let. Nymphadora knew this, but had decided early on she wasn't going to let the glares stop her from having lunch; she had every right to be there.

However, instead of sitting alone, like usual, she placed herself next to someone she knew had Harry Prewett as a student, Catherine Martin. Catherine Martin, a sixty year old woman, definitely fell into category of those to despise her.

"Why, hello Nymphadora, dear." And the woman knew she hated to be referred to as Nymphadora.

"Please call me Tonks, ma'am," Tonks asked, like she had several times before.

"Nonsense! Nymphadora is such a pretty name. Now, was there something you wanted?"

Tonks knew it was a lost cause, so dropped the subject. "I would like to ask about Harry Potter."

"Oh, the orphan boy." Catherine did not appear to be interested.

"Orphan boy?" She knew nothing of this.

"Yes, it's all in the boy's report. His family put him up for adoption; I can only guess he was a little menace. Anyway, the Prewetts were kind enough to take him in. There's something shifty about that boy, I say. Way too quiet!" The older woman exclaimed.

"I see." Tonks stopped to think for a moment. "But this isn't what I wanted to talk about; it's his eyesight. I just sent him to the nurses office."

"Eyesight? Why would I care about his eyes?"

"Well, he told me today he can't see the board."

"Yes, he's told me the same thing. It's all lies. I've asked his parents about it; I'm a friend of the family, you see. They tell me he can see just fine, he's acting out. It's best just to ignore the boy, my dear. Now, I think I've eaten enough, and you should maybe think about that, Nymphadora. You've got a little extra meat on your bones." With that, the woman patted Tonks, who was silently fuming, on the head and left the room.

How dare that woman call her fat!

On the other hand, Tonks was more sure that Harry probably was telling the truth. Now she just had to talk to Pomfrey, the school nurse, and then his adoptive parents.

Luckily for Tonks, she had a planning period after lunch, something she was grateful for.

"Madam Pomfrey, are you in?" She said as she knocked on the door to the infirmary. It was locked. Odd...

"Coming!" the matronly came and unlocked the door, a dower expression on her face.

"I sent Harry Prewett to see you earlier, he needed to have his eyesight tested."

"Eyesight?" The women seemed extremely puzzled. "Please close the door and come with me."

The two entered her office and Pomfrey asked her to sit down. "Dear, you didn't write on his pass that he needed to have his sight tested."

"I thought he would tell you." /Did I make a mistake?/ Tonks was still a new teacher.

"No, Mr. Prewett has said nothing since he arrived here."

"He's still here?" For what reason could he still be in the infirmary?

"Yes, now if you don't mind, would you let me finish?" Tonks nodded. "Now, since the boy wouldn't say a word, just handed me his pass, I thought he had been in a fight. I had to check his body over for injuries. Was he in a fight?"

"No, I would have taken him here personally if that had happened!" Tonks really hoped not everyone in this place thought she was completely irresponsible. She was only 24, but she wasn't stupid.

"Then this is puzzling. There's bruises and scratches all over the boy, mostly fresh. But there's something else that bothers me..." Madam Pomfrey trail off.

"What is it?" Tonks honestly was curious.

"Well... Maybe I could show you." Both women silently moved from the office to the infirmary.

Harry was sitting on one of the beds, staring at the white wall in front of him. Tonks wondered if he was lost in thought, but she didn't understand what could be so thought provoking for a nine year-old.

"Harry, I need you to remove your shirt for me again." The boy didn't move. "Harry, please remove your shirt." This time he shook his head. Instead of asking again, the Matron moved towards to boy, who suddenly dove off the bed and ran for the door. Luckily, a startled Tonks managed to catch Harry around his waist, preventing him from getting far. The boy did put a struggle for a few moments, but it didn't last long; he seemed to run out of energy. She glanced at his face, to see if he was crying, but to her surprise there were no tears. He looked extremely upset, but no tears.

"Did he do this before?" Tonks asked quietly, still holding him.

"Yes, now quick, help me get off his shirt." Harry didn't have the energy to stop them. He knew if Madam Pomfrey, or Professor Tonks called the Prewetts he would be in deep trouble.

"Are these what I think they are?" Tonks stared Harry's body after he was once again sitting on the bed; suddenly glad she hadn't eaten her whole lunch, to busy talking to Catherine. There were scars all over his body. It looked like he had been cut. Or whipped.

"I'm afraid so. I thought at first maybe it just a bit of discipline but what type of parent would scar their child like this." Disgust shown clearly on the nurses face. "I haven't had the chance to contact the front office, he's been a bit of a hand-full. Luckily, he didn't put up as much of a fuss this time."

Tonks just nodded shocked. "Didn't the Prewetts have another child here?"

"Yes, Mackenzie. There was another, Robert, but it was reported that distant relatives tracked him down and the Prewetts gave him up. A good thing, from what I see. I need to check Mackenzie after I contact the office. But, while we are here I might as well have him look at the chart." The nurse recovered the silent boy, before having him step down.

"Now Harry, I'm going to check your eyes. I just need you to look at a chart. Is that alright?" The boy just nodded and followed her to the chart.

"Now," she said after she stood him at the line, "I need you to read the line I'm pointing at and tell me what letters you see." Pomfrey pointed to the first line. Harry was silent. "Harry you're going to have to speak, so I can find out how well you see. What is the first letter."

"A." She could barely hear him, but it was good enough and she smiled at the boy to show he was doing a good job. Pomfrey pointed to the next line and still he got it right. Soon, however, it became apparent that Harry was indeed nearsighted and needed glasses.

"Thank you, Harry." The matron took a risk and hugged the boy; he went completely stiff and his breathing deepened. Pomfrey pulled away and noticed he was hyper-ventilating. It took Pomfrey a moment to calm Harry down while Tonks watched, saddened by the situation.

"I'll go to the office; you make sure Harry's alright." Tonks nearly ran from the room. She just couldn't take it anymore; she was so disgusted! These people didn't deserve to live, much less be able to adopt children!

Her next class was to start soon, but she didn't care. After calming down, Tonks approached the office. These people were going to rot in jail, if it was the last thing she did. 


	5. Chapter 5

AN: kind of short, but more time is about to pass, so it was best to stop it there ------------------------------------------------------------

Headmaster Diggery jumped as a loud bang happened at the door. /How rude.../ he thought as the banging persisted.

"Come in."

The person wasted no time and the door was flung open. His secretary on the their side just shrugged, as she looked at him through the door from her desk.

"Call the police!" An obviously distraught Nymphadora Tonks ordered, causing Diggory to be slightly taken aback.

"Calm down, please. Now what could be the problem?" He motioned for the chair in front of the desk.

Tonks ignored it and slammed her hands on the desk. "We don't have the time!" she yelled. "One of your students is being abused by his family, and maybe others. We need to call the police."

Headmaster Diggory just sat shell-shocked for a moment, staring at the moment. "Do you have any proof?"

"Scars, all over his body. It looks like he's been cut or whipped! There's bruises, too. It's Harry Prewett."

"Is he prone to fighting?" Surely his parents wouldn't... Or at least that was what he prayed, as he went to look through his files. Harry Prewett...

"No. He doesn't generally have anything to do with any of the other students. Now please call the police!" Tonks finally took the chair, exhausted, after she saw Diggory reaching for the phone.

She waited a few minutes, not really listening to the conversation.

"Ok, thank you." Finally he hung up. "They're sending a officer to investigate the Prewetts and another here to talk to us and the boys. Now, you are sure?"

"Yes!"

"In that case..." He reached to the intercome and called Mackenzie to the infirmary, and than stood. "After you." Headmaster Diggory held the door open for her.

The walk was quiet until Diggory broke the silence. "I hate to think that anyone could abuse a child," the man said sadly.

"I agree." Tonks just didn't see how. What type of satisfaction could come from something like this?! Yet, it happens...

"I lost a son, not to long ago, Cedric. He was thirteen and was hit by a drunk driver. My wive and I still haven't gotten over it." He shook his head sadly. "People should hold more value for their kids."

They were silent once again, both feeling heavy hearts.

Mackenzie had already arrived at the nurse's, by the time they got there, the boy looking more than slightly upset.

"...can't touch me!" He was yelling at the matron, backing away.

"I'm sorry, but this has to be done." But Pomfrey could see that he would be no easier than Harry. It pained her to see either boy like this... Currently, Harry was in her office, as she had decided that the boy didn't need to witness Mackenzie's examination, if he had been abused like she was almost certain Harry had been.

"Madam?" Diggory interrupted her, alerting the nurse to their presence.

"I'm glad you're here, Headmaster Diggory. Has Professor Tonks told you of my suspicions?"

"Yes, I'm sorry to say. I've alerted the police; an officer should be here shortly."

"Good." The dower faced nurse nodded. "I was about to examine Mackenie here, however, I may need some help. He bit me the last time I touched him!" Pomfrey held out her hand to show the headmaster the red teeth-marks on her arm.

"My word! Are you alright?" Diggory was visibly startled. "Maybe we should wait for the officer, before continuing."

"It doesn't hurt too much. But, maybe you're right. Perhaps it would be best to wait." She glanced at Mackenzie, who was glaring at them, eyes wild, while backed into a corner. Pomfrey was glad Harry wasn't in the room. She hated it when she ran across abused children. Unfortunately, by the time the child came to her notice, the abuse would have been going on for some time.

After a few moments of waiting, and Mackenzie had been coaxed into a hair, sure enough an officer did arrive, after being directed where to go by the secretary.

The talking went on for about and hour, while the situation was explained, and Harry had been brought back out, when suddenly a call came over his walkie-talky.

The Prewetts were no where to be found.

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Neither Mildred or John Prewett were seen again, the house and the boys had been abandoned. The police had also looked into the disappearance of Robert Prewett; nothing was found, so they considered that maybe a family member really had taken him away.

Harry and Mackenzie where returned to orphanages, Harry to his original one, Mackenzie to another.

It was a week later that Tonks did overhear a conversation that told all. Professor Catherine Martin was gossiping, as usual, with another teacher; discussing her actually.

"...that tramp Nymphadora called the police on Mildred and John Prewett. She actually acused them of child abuse! No one who would adopt all those children only to abuse them! Mildred can't even have children of her own."

"Yes!" The other woman agreed.

"Not only that, she had been complaining to me only moments before about the boy, the youngest... Harry. Apparently, the boy had decided to tell his lies to someone else, and she actually believed him! I couldn't belive the boy's audacity and had to call his parents. Mildred was horrified, of course. I also told them, that twit actually sent him to the nurses office. He's never going to learn anything if he's always excused from class, after all!"

"You bitch!" Tonk exclaimed, causing both women to jump.

"Oh, it's you." Catherine sniffed with disdain. The other women looked uncertain for a moment, before making an excuse to get away from the enraged Tonks.

"You bitch!" Tonks repeated. "Do you have any idea what you're done!? They've gotten away because of you."

"Well, it's not as if they were guilty, dear."

Tonks paused for a moment. "Those boys were obviously traumatized and hurt. Harry, and most likely Mackenzie, as well, were scarred neck to toe. How do you explain that."

"The boys were prone to fighting with each other, but they were only boyish squabbles. The Prewetts, explained it all to me. Really dear, you should think about these things." She explained, as if talking to a nine year old.

"You... bitch!" There was nothing else Tonks could think of to say, as she stormed away.

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	6. Chapter 6

The next few years were uneventful for Harry, at least, compared to the first several.

Dumbledore had attempted to apologize many times to the boy, but he knew that he had failed Harry. He had made an assumption that a nice looking married couple with a couple of boys already adopted would be fine. There had been no previous signs or reportings of abuse, after all. But that didn't change what had happened. He had failed Harry.

The boy was noticeably more withdraw than when he was five and had been left with them by his uncle. He was more serious, whereas, before, Harry could have been coaxed into playing with the other children easily enough. Dumbledore could have swore the child was a statue, as he watched him watch television with loaned glasses or read a book. Harry spent a great deal of time studying, he noted to himself.

More people had come to adopt Harry. Dumbledore wasn't sure it was the best thing for Harry to be adopted again, but it was obvious the boy needed someone, a family to give him the love he desperately needed. However, it never worked out.

Harry refused to have anything to do with any of them, almost to the point of being rude. He was always returned like a pair of clothes that didn't fit after no more than a month. Dumbledore could almost see it in his mind: 'no, this one isn't quite right, let's try on this one next'.

It was heartbreaking for the elderly man to watch and he could only imagine what it was doing to the boy.

Finally, when Harry was fifteen, he put a stop to it. Dumbledore would not allow anyone to else to attempt with Harry. He knew that as children got older, they became less desirable and eventually, they were ignored all together. Even if Harry chances weren't good anymore, Dumbledore just wouldn't have it.

No one could adopt Harry Potter.

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A sixteen year-old Harry was sitting in the front play area, helping to watch over the younger children. He couldn't help but to remember when he was their age and wonder; had he been like them?

The majority of the little ones were cheerful enough; it hasn't gotten to them yet, Harry guessed. But he wouldn't be the one to burst their bubbles. Unlike them, Harry dreaded adoption days. He knew no one wanted him, at this point, after getting no offers of adoption for a year, but Harry was still nervous for the other children.

He knew that not every was like the Prewetts; Harry also knew their was always a chance one of the others would get hurt by someone just like them and the thought brought anger to Harry.

Harry was watching a seven year old girl, trying to understand how someone would want to hurt her, when he noticed an odd movement, out of the corner of his eye as the front door opened.

/Great. Here comes another one.../ Harry thought morosely as he watched a man enter the building. He was fairly tall and his hair a dark color, dark brown or black from what Harry could tell. The man seemed to look around at the children for a moment, before shaking his head, almost sadly, and continuing through the next set of doors that would eventually lead to Dumbeldore's office.

"Harry, come play!" He was distracted when a boy tugged on his shirt, pulling him towards the blocks he had strewn across the floor.

"Sure." Harry smiled slightly. He just didn't understand it...

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Harry was relieved by a volunteer, after about an hour, and decided to go ask Dumbledore if he could take a walk. He wanted a few moments to clear his head.

The door was open, as usual, however there was a quiet shouting that Harry could here coming out.

Harry questioned what could be making the normally calm old man, so agitated, so he decided to listen in, if only for a moment.

"I'm sorry, but as I have said, I cannot grant your request." He heard Dumbledore speak.

"And I can't accept that. I've spent years..." There was a pause. "You won't even let me speak to him! Don't I have that right?!" A man's voice, sounding equally anxious, if not angered.

"Yes, but I can't allow it. I won't get his hopes up, just to to be destroyed all over again. Now, if you insist on calling the authorities, I will be forced to give into your demands, but the decision on adopting him is up to me and it won't happen. We have been through this several times, and I would like for you to leave, sir. I am asking for the last time, and I am about to call the police. That would not be very good for you, Mr. Black."

"But..." The man seemed to give up after that.

"Do I have to have you forcibly removed?"

"No."

Harry panicked as he heard the man's chair get pushed back. Should he run? Harry knew that it had been a private conversation he had heard. But, Harry was frozen in place when the man came around the corner. He was the same guy from earlier.

The man stared at Harry for a moment and seemed to almost reach out a hand to him, before letting it fall to his side.

"No. I'll do this right." He heard the man mutter to himself, staring into Harry's eyes, before turning away from Harry and leaving.

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Mr. Black continued to show up about once a week. Harry always felt uneasy uneasy when the other man was around. He never spoke to anyone but Dumbledore when he showed up, who always seemed to turn him away. His eyes always seemed to drift towards Harry, they looked more curious than anything. It was obvious, that after overhearing his conversation with Dumbledore, that he was searching for someone. Harry only hoped it wasn't him.

Unfortunately for Harry, it was only a month later that Dumbledore called him into his office. It was rare for the old man to call for him, so Harry knew that something had happened.

He was right, Mr. Black was also there, causing Harry to feel more than slightly uncomfortable.

"Harry, this is someone who I think you should meet, Sirius Black. He's your godfather."

Godfather? Harry could only stare at the man, who had those same sad eyes on him. He didn't know what to think. A godfather? Was this a good thing or bad thing?

Somewhat dismayed by Harry's lack of reaction, Dumbledore continued. "I'm not sure this is best for you Harry, to live with him. But I would like for you too spend some time with him. I do not want for you to make the decision to live with him right now. Mr. Black would like to visit you here, if you will allow it. He has promised to stay away, if you don't want him around."

Mr. Black was looking at the teen, clearly anxious, and Harry could tell both he and the old man were waiting for an answer, and he came to one soon enough.

"No." 


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I probably should warn people that this will be a long story...

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Mr. Black's face had seemed to crumble almost immediately, but Harry felt that he had made the right decision. Was the man really his god-father? And if he was, why was Harry only now hearing from him. No one had told him he had other 'living' family members, aside from the Dursley's.

So why now?

He was probably passing through town and decided to visit the 'orphan boy' on the side.

Besides, Harry would be old enough to move out of the orphanage and live on his own in less then two years.

On the other hand, he hated to see Dumbledore's sad eyes following him wherever he went. The old man had already asked Harry a couple more times, yet Harry still refused. It was only when Dumbledore had, once again, asked Harry to come with him to his office that things changed.

Harry was worried for a moment that the man was back and Dumbledore had sold him out, that he had been adopted, but the office was blessedly empty.

"Harry, I think we need to talk."

Those were words no teenager, no person, ever wanted to hear, and Harry was instantly on edge.

"Harry, I'm not mad at you. I do understand, but I really think you should reconsider your decision. It would be the best for the both of you."

Harry couldn't resist snorting. "So he's convinced you. Who is he anyway? No one has mentioned him to me." He knew it came out a bit harsh, but it needed to be said.

"He's a man that's been through a great deal, as have you, and is currently in a lot of pain. I can't tell you why he hasn't been there for you, why it seems he's never tried to know you. Only he can explain that to you, Harry. I do know some of it, as I did run a background check. I honestly believe he's come here to do right by you." Dumbledore stared into the boy's eye, which showed him nothing. "He quit his job to move here, Harry. To see you." The old man knew he was trying to send the boy on a guilt-trip, and was doing it without remorse.

Mr. Black did that for him? Harry seemed to think for a moment, staring at the carpet below his feet. He did trust Dumbledore, kind of, but...

"Please, Harry."

He could tell the old man would plead with him, until he said yes. But he didn't know if he could. "Maybe." Harry finally answered, exhaling as he said it. "I'll think about it."

"Thank you." The old man smiled at him, making Harry feel a bit more at ease.

"May I leave?" Harry asked and got up after the man nodded; he had a paper to write and he hoped the little kids hadn't taken his books to draw in again.

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/I hate him!/ It was the first time those words had ever been directed at the kindly elder.

A couple of weeks later, after it had became apparent to Dumbledore that Harry was not going to give an answer any time soon, Harry came face to face with Sirius black.

"Harry." The man just said, quietly.

Unfortunately, the boy did run this time. Thankfully, for Sirius, he hadn't run farther than outside. At first, he had thought to run after Harry, but decided that wouldn't make things any better and searched for his as calmly as possible. However, inside, the man was frantic.

Sirius had no idea how to handle this. Harry had run from him! He didn't understand it, but he did honestly did want to know Harry and regretted being there while Harry was here, alone.

He was going to change that.

It didn't take long for Sirius to find Harry; the orphanage wasn't that big. The boy was found near the edge of the property, half leaning, half slumped on the fence. Sirius took another step forward, causing a trig to snap. He saw Harry's eyes widen for a moment before he did finally fall to the ground.

"What do you want?" Sirius heard the quiet, angry, words.

"I just want to get to know you."

"I don't see why, there's nothing to know. You don't need to be here, sir." Harry silently pleaded that the man would go away.

Sirius was taken aback for a moment, but decided to continue. "I don't know what you mean, but I really do want to be here," the sad man pleaded.

"Why. I haven't even met you. I've never even heard of you!" he almost yelled.

"Look Harry." The man suddenly turned slightly stern, almost desperate, causing Harry to further tense. "I can guess that you've been through a lot of shit. Well, I have too. I would rather not talk about it right now, maybe eventually, but now it's still to fresh. I do understand you not wanting to spill your guts to a someone new, but I am being honest. You are the last person left that I have left and I would like to call you family. I didn't even know that you were alone all these years Harry, else I would been here sooner, regardless of whatever problems I was having. Honestly, I didn't know you were alone." After that he did the last thing Harry expected. The man lunged forward and a terrified Harry had no place to go; the fence trapped him. However, instead of striking him, Sirius... hugged him?

Harry did manage to calm down, but only enough to say "Please, don't touch me."

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Sirius came back to visit every couple of days, even after that nearly horrifying experience, which Sirius couldn't begin to understand. Thankfully for Dumbledore, Harry no longer protested against the man's presence, at least not much.

He didn't say much when Sirius was there, but would occasionally respond. Sirius didn't try to hug Harry again, although he wanted to. He was quickly starting to care about the boy, and as more than a distant relative. Sirius was starting to almost think of the boy as his son, after a while, one he had never known. Not quite there yet, but he was close. There were still occasional incidents where something he would do would seem to scare the sixteen-year old, sometimes bad enough that Harry would walk out the room. It was usually when the older man moved the wrong way. Sirius knew that when this happened, it was not likely that Harry would come back.

Still Sirius held back his questions and worries, from both Harry and Dumbledore. He just hoped that Harry could trust him eventually.

Sirius had also wondered if he was the best person to be taking in Harry, a teenager, something he had no experience with, but quickly decided that there really was no one else. And besides, Harry didn't quite seem like the average teen; Sirius didn't really see the boy giving him any Sirius trouble, at least not intentionally.

Overall things seemed to be going well, except Harry still never gave any clues that he would welcome adoption. This was Sirius' largest worry. What if Harry never allowed Sirius to adopt him? He would just have to keep come here, to the orphanage, until Harry told him to get lost or until they both walked out.

Sirius' prayers were answered on day when he showed up and was immediately sent to Dumbledore's office upon arrival. The old man was there behind his desk, grinning like a fool, and Harry was sitting in a chair across from him. The boy looked more pale than normal, almost sick looking, but there were papers in his lap.

Adoption papers. 


	8. Chapter 8

Harry didn't talk much on while Sirius drove, unsurprisingly. Sirius was starting to get used to it. Although, he wished he could tell what was going on in that head of his. Harry didn't really seem happy about this, but neither did he seem upset. Harry did want to live with him, right?

Sirius almost wondered if it was too soon; him and Harry still barely knew each other.

But it was all for the best, he decided. Harry could have a home with him.

Harry stared out the window, holding his bag in his lap. That reminded Sirius.

"We'll go to the eye doctor tomorrow, Dumbledore told me you can't see very well. And to get you something to where. I can't afford much, but..." Sirius shrugged slightly, glancing at Harry, who nodded.

"Thank you," the teenager added, almost as an afterthought. Truthfully, the sickness in Harry's stomach just got worse.

Sirius' house looked different from the Prewetts; that was the first thing Harry thought when the car pulled into the driveway. It was... shabby. And that was being nice. Shingles were missing, the paint was cracked and almost gone in places, the fence wasn't even close standing, and the grass, as in weeds, were over a foot high.

Definitely different...

"Umm, yeah." Sirius looked around, clearly embarrassed. "I forgot and I haven't been here very often since moving. Sorry."

"It's... fine." Harry had started to say 'nice', but decided not to lie. The 'house' look like it would fall over if a storm came past.

"Great. Let's find your room." Sirius reached for Harry's bag, but he showed no signs of handing it over. Slightly hurt, Sirius let his hand drop.

They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Sirius decided it was best to just move on and show Harry his room; Sirius was relieved when him did follow him into the house.

The inside wasn't any better and Harry had decided one thing, his god-father was a slob.

Harry's room had peeling wallpaper and nearly ruined wood floors, just like the rest of the house, but it was obvious that Sirius had tried to make it comfortable. Numerous lamps were around the room, sitting all over the room. Harry just had to look up to see why; the ceiling light was busted. Several blankets littered the bed; partly to make the lumpy mattress more comfortable, partly to keep Harry warm. The heat wasn't on.

Sirius just looked more depressed. How did he forget it looked this bad! He shouldn't have brought Harry here... But there was nowhere else.

"I'll fix the it up, Harry, I promise." He started to squeeze the boy's shoulder, but managed to stop when Harry started to move away.

Harry nodded, putting his bag on a chair sitting in the corner.

"Yeah, ahh... I'll get dinner ready." And with that, Sirius retreated, leaving Harry to do... whatever.

/I hope I did the right thing.../ both Harry and Sirius thought.

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Things had gone relatively well, afterwards. Not completely smooth, but ok. There were still plenty of uncomfortable silences and moments.

Sirius didn't turn on him the first night, so that was good. He did take Harry to get glasses and clothes, as promised, and after... nothing happened. But Harry couldn't help feel that he owed the man, something. Here Harry was, in his house, eating his food, and everything else. Yet, he hadn't asked Harry to do anything, nothing...

So things just continued.

For a while, at least.

Sirius suddenly jerked awake in the middle of the night, automatically in the sitting position. It didn't take him long to figure out what had woken him; someone was screaming. Harry!

The man instantly dashed across the hall, to the near empty room that housed the teen. After jerking the door open he saw Harry writhing on the bed. It sounded like someone was torturing the boy! Terrified, Sirius had no idea what to do. Without thinking, he lunged forward to wake Harry, shaking him by the shoulders, who woke the instant he was touched.

/It was a lie. It was a lie./ The thought repeated in Harry's head as he stared wide-eyed at Sirius, who was still hung over the boy. The man hated him.

/He's afraid of me!/ Sirius realized. "Harry..." He only continued to stare, with that look of pure fear.

Harry knew he couldn't say anything, it would only make things worse. Instead, he got up, much to Sirius' confusion, and held onto the bedpost. After a moment of standing there, Sirius figured Harry was waiting for something.

"Harry, what are you doing?" The man nearly felt sick with worry, at this point. This was not normal.

"Waiting." The teen-ager said, after what felt like an eternity. "Do you want me to get it?" Maybe that was why Mr. Black hadn't moved; he wanted Harry to get it.

"Get what?" Although, Sirius hated to ask.

"The belt." Harry said sadly, but as if it was expected.

/He thinks I'm going to.../ "No! Look, I... Can't deal with this right now." With that Sirius backed out the room, leaving Harry, who sank to his knees, shaking.

/I'm going back tomorrow.../ Harry knew he had just messed things up.

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The next day, Sirius was sure it was all a dream. However, he couldn't hold on that belief any longer that it took to knock on Harry's door.

After waiting a moment, there was still nothing. Sirius enter the room to see Harry nowhere on the bed. He was still on the floor. Harry had slept there all night.

Cautiously, he called out the boy's name before giving him a slight tap, after which, Sirius instantly backed away. Harry was waking; he only looked at him for a moment before asking "when am I going back."

"I wasn't planning on taking you back, but I do think we need to talk about this. I'm going to go make breakfast." Sirius didn't know what else to say and left Harry to get dressed.

Harry never did come to breakfast, until Sirius brought him a plate and ordered him to eat it.

Afterwards, the unfortunate 'talk' came.

"I want to know what happened last night." Sirius started out.

"I don't want to talk about it." At this point, Harry had stopped looking at him.

"We're going to talk, Harry." Sirius didn't feel nearly as in control as he sounded.

"No."

"Harry-"

"I said no." Harry made to walk out the room, when Sirius grabbed his arm. Harry immediately tried to jerk it away.

"Stop!" Sirius didn't know what else to say.

"What are you going to do if I don't, hit me!?" Harry yelled. Sirius dropped his arm, like it was on fire, giving Harry a chance to flee.

Sirius could only stand in place as he listened to the front door slam a few moments later. He dropped into the chair that still sat in Harry's room, running a shaking hand through his hair.

/I don't need it... I don't need it.../ Sirius repeated mentally, trying to convince himself.

What was he going to do? 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Please be pacient wih my story... Draco will be showing up in Harry's early twenties, Harry's about 16 right now. I won't be going through every year of Harry's life, until then. I'm just trying to hit the important parts, so things are understandable when he does meet Draco. And remember, the rating might have to be changed to 'R'/'M' after Harry meets Draco.

I know I forget to thank people for reviewing, but I really enjoy reading them!

Thanks for reading!

thrnbrooke: you've hit the nail on the head

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/Everything is going just like I knew it would. They'll have to believe me. I'll see to it./

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Sirius was forced to call the police when Harry didn't show up by the end of the day.

The whole time he waited his eyes would always glance towards the kitchen, before looking away. It was the stress that was doing it to him, and being here, in this house. Sirius had abandoned it years before, yet couldn't bring himself to sell it. It just had too many memories...

Sirius felt his throat begin to itch, feeling dry, as he longed to...

He jumped when a knock sounded on the front door. Harry!

Sirius flung open the door and indeed the dark-haired boy was on the other side, with an officer holding him by the collar.

"Is he yours?" The officer asked.

Sirius could only nod and the man released Harry, who immediately took off for his room.

"I found him on the front steps." The officer looked at Sirius condescendingly.

"Oh." /Dammit!/ Here he was going crazy with worry, and Harry hadn't even gone anywhere. If he had only looked...

"Just don't let it happen again... Mr. Black, is it?"

"Yes." /Dammit!/ Sirius repeated. But the officer didn't comment on it.

"Have a nice day." The man turned and left.

Sirius stood for a moment, in the open doorway, before closing it. "Dammit!" He said it aloud, this time.

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Making up with Harry wasn't easy, partly because Sirius didn't think he was entirely wrong. Harry had to talk to someone, and soon. The boy was having nightmares at least once every couple of weeks; Harry was usually more withdrawn and easily upset the next morning.

Sirius would often come to him when it happened, but he would stay away until Harry woke. After he would just talk to him until he fell asleep, not about the dreams, just general talking, sometimes about his parents. Sirius wanted him him to feel like he wasn't alone.

Having Harry around helped Sirius a great bit. Harry... destracted him. Most of the time. Even Harry could tell that Sirius wasn't entirely happy at times, more that simple depression. Every now and again, he would his god-father staring, not into space, but at the house. Sirius still hadn't been able to bring himself to change anything.

One day, a saturday after Sirius had left for his new job, Harry decided he had had enough. Besides, it would be a way to pay the man back. His god-father had mentioned that Harry's glasses were ready and that he would be picking them up on his way home. Harry almost aloud himself to feel happy. He was starting to get headaches when he had to strain his eyes.

Harry knew he didn't have long, so he decided on what would make largest difference, the grass, which was getting way to high in his opinion. There was a shed behind the house, Harry just hoped there was a lawn mower. And gas.

The motions were familiar to him, of coarse. Harry had to quickly learn a few new things soon after Robert 'disappeared'. He would wonder sometimes, less often then before, if Robert's relatives had actually found him. Harry hoped so... but he doubted it. Robert shouldn't have helped him.

He pushed the thought away, he needed to get to work.

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Harry sat in front of the tv, looking like he was doing his homework, but truthfully he was nervous as hell. Should he have done anything? Sure, his god-father had been promising to do it ever since adopting Harry, but the man had neither moved a finger to do it himself or told Harry to. Maybe he wanted the house to stay the way it was. Harry had only mowed the grass, but...

So, Harry nervously sat, waiting for Sirius to return.

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Sirius sat, stunned, in his car for half an hour before getting out. It had changed, more like before.

He hated it.

Sirius said nothing when he entered the house. Harry looked up from his work when he heard the door open. He started to greet the man, when he saw the stormy expression. Frozen in place, he watched as Sirius walked straight to his bedroom, without saying a word.

/Shit!/ But it was too late for Harry to change anything. Shaking slightly, he gathered his papers, and rushed to his room, not wanting to be there when Sirius came back out. Harry would have to figure out what he did wrong, so he didn't make the same mistake again. He didn't want to go back to orphanage, again; he had to find a way to make Sirius like him. Then, Harry only had to wait until he was eighteen... He would leave.

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Harry woke when felt a tap on his shoulder, looking into black eyes that were moist; it was Sirius. He was the only person who touched him.

"Harry..."

/It's the middle of the night/ Harry opened his eyes, but didn't get up.

"Harry, I came to apologize. You did mow the grass?" Harry nodded. "I should have said thank you. It's just..." But Sirius couldn't say it. "Well, nevermind that. Next time I'll help you. We can do it together, starting next week, when I have more money. How about that?" Sirius looked hopeful, but inside he was still hurting. He could do this for Harry, but had he lost his chance? "We could maybe get to know each other, you know?"

/He still wants to have anything to do with me?/ Harry wondered. Was it true? "Yeah. Oh, I mean yes."

Sirius laughed slightly, his eyes warming. "No need to be so proper with me, Harry. That also goes with calling me 'Mr. Black'. 'Sirius' is good enough for me, understand?"

"Yes, Sirius." Harry smiled back, slightly smaller than Sirius'.

"Good enough." He quirked an eyebrow. "Get some sleep, Harry. 'Night."

/You're the one who woke me up!/ But he just said "Goodnight."

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"I want to talk about something, Harry. Something serious." Harry, who had been helping Sirius cook, looked up, stunned. What was it?

"Harry, it's about your dreams." Sirius began, suddenly looking at Harry. Lately, he hadn't been pressuring Harry to talk to him, but he could tell that the boy wasn't quite happy.

"I haven't had of those dreams in a while, Sirius." Harry replied, hoping his god-father would drop the subject.

"I don't believe you. They aren't as bad, but you still have them. You talk in your sleep." Sirius looked at Harry sadly. "Who hurt you, Harry?" Harry's 'milder' dreams weren't any less terrifying than the ones that made the boy scream. Sirius had, to many times, heard Harry begging someone, pleading for them no to hurt him anymore. Sirius had gotten enough of it.

"No-one. No-one has hurt me." Harry was looking Sirius right in the eyes as he said it, hating himself for the lie.

"Don't lie." Sirius said tensely. "But, anyway, I've set up an appointment for you."

/What?!/ The knife Harry had been holding clattered on the counter. "Appointment?"

"You need to see a psychiatrist, Harry." 


	10. Chapter 10

AN: sorry I took so long to get this chapter out. simply put, I couldn't decided on what the doctor's name should be (if I should make him a canon character or not). i looked through the characters, but I couldn't think of too many that weren't already considered bad/good and older than Harry, so I had to make my own.

By the way, I blame the doctors looks on all the yaoi manga i just read (I love DMP...). I been downplaying looks of characters, so far, but I don't think I took it to far.

So... any dir en grey fans? Anyone see them in feb. or are planning on seeing them this summer. just curious

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"... young boy, Tim Hammond, disappeared today. Description: 6 years old, blue eyes, brown hair, around 4ft tall, and weighing approximately 46 pounds. Last seen with-"

"Harry, it's time to go!" Sirius yelled while putting on a his jacket; it was still a bit chilly. He just hoped Harry wouldn't put up to much of a fight... The boy had stopped talking to him almost immediately after announcing that he wanted Harry to get help. "Harry?" Sirius said again; Harry hadn't moved from his place in front of the television. His eyes seemed to be glued to the screen.

Sirius called for Harry again, but still there was no reply. Harry didn't hear him. Sirius looked at the screen and realized what had taken his attention. This wasn't the first time, so Sirius knew what to do; just turn off the tv.

Instantly, Harry angry gaze turned on him. However, it wasn't Sirius he was truly upset with, at least not now. He just hated it when...

"You can't do anything about it Harry, you know that right?" Sirius' sad eyes stared into his. Harry said nothing, instead, he got up to go to the car.

/Harry... It's things like this-/

Harry turned. "I'll be fine, but let's just get this over with." Still said as seriously as anything else. On the other hand, Harry was moving up to almost 10-20 words a sentence. Much better then when Sirius had first met Harry.

But he could still remember what had caused him to want Harry to do this.

Sirius had gotten up to get a drink... just a drink, when he happened to pass Harry's room. Sirius had heard Harry screaming in his dreams, before; what he heard wasn't that. It wall simply crying, a sound that was hard to mistake for anything else.

At first, Sirius had wondered if something had happened to Harry that day, as Harry never did tell him what he did all day. Harry always just came home, did his work, and that was the end of it. And it wasn't entirely out of the norm for a teenage to not want to talk about it, so...

However, upon peaking into the room, Sirius saw that Harry was still sleep. Harry was also talking in his sleep and it was the words that terrified him.

Harry had been abused by someone, heavily. There was no way around it now; he could no longer ignore it.

/If only I had gotten hear sooner... If I hadn't been so god damned-/ Sirius cut himself off, immediately. His self-hate wouldn't help Harry.

Sirius had hoped, although 'hope' might not be the best word, that Harry's... problems... were just from James and Lily dying, maybe an adoption or two didn't go entirely well, but this was more than that. And Sirius didn't really think he could help Harry with this.

And then there were things like today.

So, although Harry was angry with him now, Sirius hoped it would work out. After all, it did for him.

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Doctor Christopher Atrum's office, as it said on the door, was plain, at least in Harry's opinion. White walls and Berber carpet, a book shelf and a desk with a computer. Of course, his degree was on the wall, as well. However, none of it told Harry what the many was like, only that he was late.

Harry and Sirius had been ushered into the office right away, the secretary telling him that he would be there in a minute. Sirius tried to strike up a conversation, but it fell on deaf ears. Truth being, Harry was more than a little worried, not that he would admit it. He had nothing to worry about, right? Harry would just tell the man what he wanted to know, show him that he was as sane as every one else, even if his own godfather didn't think he was...

Yes, Harry had nothing to worry about. Yeah right.

"Hello sirs." Harry was knocked out of his thoughts when a surprisingly young doctor came into the room. /he can't be more than 25.../ Harry thought, skeptically. Doctor Christopher Atrum was a tall thin man with light green eyes and brown hair, with a slight smile. But still, how much could the man know, he was probably fresh out of school.

Harry disliked the man on sight.

"Dr. Atrum." Sirius greeted, shaking his hand. The doctor's hand moved towards Harry, who took it after seeing Sirius' pleading look out the corner of his eye.

"I'm glad to meet you both," Dr. Atrum started, then turned to Harry. "As you know, your guardian has set up appointments for you, once a week?"

Harry nodded. 'Guardian'? So he knew that Sirius wasn't his father.

"Well, Harry, may I call you that?" He turn his smile on Harry.

"I would rather you didn't." The words were out of Harry's mouth before he could stop them, but it he decided it didn't matter.

The man only seemed surprised for a moment. "Very well, Mr. Potter it is. As I was saying, it will just be me an you after today. I thought it best to have Mr. Black here this time to help relax you. Today, we'll only be talking about the easy things, such as what you do at home, at school, that sort of thing, is that ok?" After getting the affirmative, Atrum continued. "First things first, you have lived with Sirius for about the past four months, starting in mid-January?"

Again Harry agreed.

"And how do you feel about that?"

Harry stare at him for a moment. Was he serious? But by the way that Atrum the waiting, it was obvious that he was.

Sirius cringed inwardly beside Harry, not at all sure how he would answer.

/I wish I were somewhere else/ both of them thought.

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Although somewhat trying of Harry's patience, that first meeting was 'easy' enough. Harry's answer wasn't as painful as Sirius feared. Harry didn't say that he hated living with him, at least.

Harry decided that maybe it wouldn't be as awful as he feared.

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As said, Sirius wasn't with him after that first meeting. They talked about Harry's school, next.

Who were his friends: didn't have any.  
Girl-friend: didn't have one. Although.  
Boy-friend?: silence. Harry had never thought about it.  
What were his teacher's like: all the same.  
What was the school like: boring.  
Work: hard.

This conversation was short, just as the last. However, Atrum seemed satisfied with his answers, so Harry thankfully didn't feel as if he had to say more.

When Harry met Sirius outside, he was actually in a decent mood.

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Later that same day Harry and Sirius planned what to do with Harry's room. Sirius had promised Harry that he would have real home with him and he meant it.

Harry was actually talking to him, while talking about where to put things, and full sentences. Although Sirius was elated, he chose not to mention it to Harry.

He even caught that small smile of Harry's at some point.

Maybe things were working out. 


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Yeah, this chapter came quick. Longer than the last one too.  
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Unfortunately, Sirius started taking a renewed interest in Harry due to the sessions with Dr. Atrum.

Starting with girls. Harry knew that Dr. Atrum must have mentioned something to him, it was only expected; Harry wasn't 18. He was upset at first, but didn't show it.

Sirius had managed to get Harry to mention who she was, the girl who seemed to actually pay attention to him. Cho Chang.

"But Harry, you need to be a teenager while you still can!" Sirius exclaimed, after telling Harry he should ask her out. He refused, of course. It was doubtful that she felt that way about him; Harry didn't even really see her as a friend.

"She's cute, right?" Sirius asked, causing Harry to blush slightly. She was, but was that really important? Plenty of people looked nice...

"I don't want to go out with her, Sirius." Harry replied.

"But, Harry..." The grown man seemed to almost whine.

"No. Besides, I doubt she likes me."

"You won't know unless you ask her." Begrudgingly, Harry admitted that the man was making sense. "So you'll think about it?" Harry nodded and Sirius sprung forward to hug Harry.

Things were tense for a moment, as Sirius realized what he had done when Harry flinched.

"I sorry, Harry." He said while pulling away, running a hand through his hair, a nervous reaction.

After a moment, Harry replied. "It's alright." He didn't entirely enjoy it, but it was alright.

"So, about dating..."

Harry chose that moment to tune Sirius out.

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"Today were going to do something different, Mr. Potter." Atrum explained after Harry settled. He had learned by that point that Harry was not the talkative type, as many of his patients were, so he continued without to much of a pause. "I would like to discuss the time before you lived with Sirius."

"There's not much to talk about, sir." What Harry's reply, not meeting eyes lighter than his own.

Atrum gave him a sad look. "I think there is, Harry, I mean, Mr. Potter. From what you've told me I think there is something you need to get off your chest, and it has nothing to do with Sirius. Is that correct?"

Harry said nothing. What made this man think he would spill his heart out to him, when he wouldn't to his own god-father. Besides, it was all in the past; it didn't effect him anymore. Simply put, it would do no one any good, so why talk about it.

"I'm just trying to help, besides your god-father is paying me a lot of money to be here. You not talking to me, is costing him. He's trying to help you." Atrum's voice pleaded with him.

/costing Sirius.../ Harry knew the man wasn't 'well-off', but he hadn't thought that he might be costing Sirius. 'He quit his job to move here, Harry. To see you.' Harry remembered. And Sirius did honestly seem to hate that he moved, at times.

Was he still a burden?

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Sirius could tell that something was wrong with Harry, after the meeting. He guessed that it was something he talked about with the doctor. Sirius had half a mind to go down to the office and demand to know what it was, but knew Harry would hate if he invaded his privacy like that. Sirius only knew about Cho because the doctor mention her, when telling Sirius how well the first meeting had gone.

Speaking of Cho, Sirius tried talking to Harry some more about asking her on a date. Harry quietly said he would, and a surprised Sirius was elated. Harry's first date!

It just saddened him the others weren't there to see it...

As Sirius obsessed, Harry just sat, staring at his knees, thinking bitterly. /I've made him happy. I'm not a burden/

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Harry half wanted to run, as He walked up to Cho's table, during lunch. She was sitting with Marietta Edgecombe and the rest of her group of course. A group he didn't come close to belonging to. It felt like a stone had formed in Harry's throat, getting larger and larger with every step he took.

"Cho?" He managed to croak.

"Hi, Harry." She replied, smiling at him. "Come sit!" Cho quickly made space for him. The other just glanced at him, some sneering slightly. They knew he didn't belong and never hesitated to show it.

Harry didn't know if he would be able to get up the courage to ask her out, but he promised Sirius. So, he just sat there, suddenly feeling overheated, as the rest talked.

"Will you go out with me!" He suddenly exclaimed, causing the group to go silent.

Every one stared at him and Cho, obviously waiting for her to tell him to get lost. "Of course, Harry." She gave him that same smile from before, which did nothing to calm him.

Now what?! They needed somewhere to go! Where did people go? "Movies?" Harry finally asked.

"That would be great. How about Friday, 7:00." Harry nodded, afraid that he was staring at her.

"I'll see you there Harry." Suddenly, Cho leaned forward and kissed Harry on the cheek.

After that, Harry darted up, making an excuse to leave, with a vivid blush on his face.

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An excited Sirius wanted to drive to the theater once Friday, but Harry refused.

He had just had a session with Dr. Atrum and now a date with Cho at seven. Harry wanted as much time to try to calm down as possible, and thought a walk might help.

Thankfully Sirius had his clothes ready, after Harry told he had no idea what to wear, so he only had to shower and get dressed, after getting home.

The walk did nothing. It only gave Harry more time to panic. She had meant that Friday, right? And at seven? What were they going to see? Should he buy the tickets? Snacks?

The whirlwind in Harry's mind froze, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Cho." He said when he saw her. She looked... nice. Should he smile? Harry tried, but didn't feel right, so he dropped it.

"Hello, Harry." She greeted him happily. "Do you know what you want to see?"

"Um, no?" Harry replied sheepishly.

"It ok, I've got something in mind." Cho grabbed his arm, before he could do anything, and pulled him to the line.

A horror movie. That was what she had in mind. Harry didn't have a problem with scary movies, they just weren't exactly his favorite.

Harry payed for the tickets with money given to him by Sirius. Once inside, he asked Cho if she wanted anything to eat; she declined.

Every now and then she would get a look in her eyes, when looking at him; it wasn't one he was used to. Maybe Sirius was right and Cho really did like him. Maybe another date wouldn't be awful.

They sat in the back, at Cho's insistence, in the corner. 'That's the best place.' Harry didn't see what was so great about it. The screen was to far away for him. Also there were very few people around them; the nearest person was several seats away.

Harry didn't really consider the movie scary, just disconcerting. He tensed up every time a person got killed, even if he knew it would happen. Cho clung to him nearly every moment.

"Isn't this great, Harry?" She whispered excitedly.

'Not really.' he resisted telling her. Instead Harry agreed.

"Want to know why this is the best place to sit?" Harry could see the mischievous look in her black eyes, even in the dark theater.

Hesitantly, he nodded yes.

The next thing he knew, Cho hand was on his chest and her lips were on his. When Harry didn't respond, she seemed disappointed, but continued until finally his lips opened out of reflex. Cho smiled into the kiss, not sensing the fear that was slowly building in Harry. She was too close...

Then he noticed her hand, which had been slipping lower, until it was going under the waist of his jeans. Harry was responding. /So, I want this?/ Harry tried to convince himself. The button was undone and Harry's breath quickened. /Someone's going to notice!/ he thought as Cho's tongue continued to play with his hesitant one. He finally managed to pull away.

"We can't do this here." Harry said, breathlessly.

"You're so cute." Cho ruffled his hair with her free hand. "Let's go to my place." She said into his ear. "It isn't far and my parents aren't home."

Harry said nothing as, once again, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out the theater; the movie was still going.

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	12. Chapter 12

AN: Harry has now been with Sirius for four months, I went back and changed it.

Also, I've been wondering if I should have included an angst warning at the beginning of this story...

It's funny, I live in a city named Marietta... It's just west of Atlanta. So it's odd to think of it as a name (no offense intended to anyone name Marietta; my own name is too easy to make fun off)  
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Harry mind was blank as he walked home; Cho had fallen asleep, so he left. He really didn't want to be there when her parents got home.

Was this what a person was supposed to feel after loosing their virginity? Nothing?

Would Cho want more, or was this a one time thing? How could he tell Sirius?

There was just too many questions...

Harry stopped when he realized he was home. Yes, Sirius' house was starting to feel like home, now. Even Sirius seemed slightly more relaxed now than he was at first. Harry just didn't understand what Sirius' problem with the house was. Not only that, but Sometimes his god-father seemed almost desperate, for something... Harry had no idea what.

Was it really any of his business?

Harry opened the door with key Sirius had given him. He half expected for his god-father to be sleep, as it was past midnight, but Sirius was waiting for him in a chair pretty close to the door. He didn't look happy.

Sirius rushed forward with a look of relief on his face, hugging him tight, before backing away, glaring at the teenager.

"Where the hell have you been?" The man demanded. He had sat there for the last couple of hours frantic with worry that someone had kidnapped Harry, or that he had gotten lost!

"With Cho." Harry stared straight at Sirius with expressionless eyes.

"'With Cho'? For the past five hours, Harry? What could you have possibly done for-. Oh." Sirius started to smile, but then he really looked at Harry. His hair was mussed, worse than usual, his mouth was red, and his clothes were definitely not in the same condition they were in when Harry left. The only problem was Harry looked miserable and ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Sirius said quietly. /Sorry? Is that the best I could say? If I hadn't pestered Harry.../ But, there was nothing more he could do. Loosing your virginity, not that that was the reason he wanted Harry to go out, was supposed to be enjoyable. Not this...

/I can't do this, Sirius. I can't be like everyone else./ Harry told himself. "I'll be fine." Harry said, willing the man to believe him. /But I can pretend to be./ "It was fine."

Harry walked as calmly as he could to his room and curled up on the bed.

Everything would be fine. Everything would be fine.

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After standing in the door way for a moment, Sirius broke. He needed it! He had tried, really, but everything was better...

Sirius dashed into the kitchen, his face contorted in desperation. He knew it was there, in the back of a drawer, hidden where Harry would never look.

His bottle of heaven.

With it, everything would be fine.

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Harry's sessions with Dr. Atrum had started to turn painful. However, the doctor stated that sometimes things got worse before they got better; that made sense.

They had just finished discussing the Dursleys. They had abandoned him, the doctor helped Harry to realize. Perhaps, they had never wanted him. After all, it was the government that sent him to live with his aunt. Neither her or Uncle Vernon had asked to take care of him.

But Harry was given a strange sort of hope from this; Sirius had come for him. Even if maybe he shouldn't, his god-father wanted him.

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"What happened after you went to New Madison." The Doctor asked.

Harry, who was sitting across from him, seemed to think for a moment. "Nothing, really. Nothing happened. Everyone was nice, but I wanted to get back in the car and leave with my uncle. I wanted to see Dudley. Aside from that, nothing happened."

"I see." Atrum seemed to think for a moment. "And Mr. Black wasn't the first to adopt you?"

"No." Harry's eyes averted to the window at this point, refusing to glance at him.

"Who adopted you?"

"The Prewetts."

Atrum made wrote in his notebook for a moment, like he did most meetings. "What were they like," he asked gently.

"They were... clean. They liked things tidy. And proper." Harry said in a low voice.

"What about your first week there?"

Harry didn't say anything for a full minute. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Very well." Dr. Atrum closed his note book.

"What do you write?" Harry asked, looking at the notebook.

Atrum smiled, before turning to place the book in his desk. "I like to keep notes. When you have several patents, for lack of a better word, it helps to write down specific details. It keeps me from mixing you up, with, say, the neurotic smoker who comes after you. Not that it's really that hard to tell you too apart. There's a world of difference."

"Which one of us are normal?" Harry couldn't resist asking.

"Both of you are normal, Mr. Potter." He reached forward to lay his hand on Harry's, who, of course, pulled away, frowning. "I apologize." The doctor gave him a sheepish look. "I'm a very... tactile... person. It's going to get me in trouble one of these days. Especially in this profession."

Harry nodded, understanding. Sirius was the same way, although his touch might considered comforting. Harry simply didn't feel as comfortable around doctor.

"Well, you're god-father is probably waiting for you. Have a good afternoon, Harry."

"Thank you." Harry said mildly before getting up and closing the door behind him.

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This was day. He had to end things with Cho. They could only be friends.

Actually, she had been the one to ask Harry out, now and again, after their first date. Cho said that they were dating, and told her friends. Often, Harry wondered if she was really interested in him. Cho tended to get distracted when they were together.

She would hang on to him, doing things like kiss his cheek, while they were around her friends. Cho said she like the effect she had on him, that she was tired of over-confident jerks who acted like they owned her.

Cho never tried to sleep with him again, something that relieved Harry. He was fine with Cho when they were alone away; she didn't ask to many questions about him, they talked occasionally, although they didn't really have any common interest. Mostly, Harry would listen to her talk about what she liked. And she talked about other guys in the school, sometimes. Then Cho would seemed to remember that she was on a date with him and go quiet.

Sirius didn't really seem to care anymore that he went out with Cho, although he never stayed out late again.

Something about Sirius seemed different. He was more unkempt, less happy than he started to be. He seemed angry with himself.

Harry had tried to talk with him about Cho, trying to figure out how to tell a girl you only wanted to be friends, without hurting her.

Sirius didn't have a reply, he only stared at Harry, before resting his face in his hands.

So Harry had to face this alone. He spotted her with Marietta, talking at Cho's locker quietly in between classes.

"...really doing it!" Harry heard Marietta excited whisper.

"Yeah, I didn't think I would last this long." Cho pushed her dark hair behind her ear.

"So, you are still with Roger, right?" Marietta asked Cho, who nodded.

"He understands that it's a bet. That I'm not really cheating on him."

"But you did sleep with Potter right. Hey, didn't his name used to be Prewett, you know, back in primary."

"Yeah, I don't know what happened, but I won't be sleeping with him again." Cho seemed to look regretful for a moment, but quickly covered it.

"He wasn't good." Marietta nodded; it was expected. They knew he had to be a virgin, a guy like him. Thats why Potter was chosen.

"Actually, he wasn't bad, although it took some prodding." Cho arched her eyebrows suggestively. "But his body looks so gross. It looks like he was in a car accident, or something."

"Really?" Marietta sneered slightly, looking grossed out. "Well, you will be ending it soon, won't you. Get back with Roger, right? You've already proven that you could do it. You're one of us now."

"Yeah, I'm going to end it. I can't be seen with a looser like him, now, after all," the haughty tone had a bitter edge, that Marietta ignored.

"We're all going out later, Cho. Are you coming?" Marietta looked down at her watch and realized she needed to get to class.

"Of course I'll be there." Cho answered and Marietta left to go to her locker.

Cho turned to get a book she needed, when she saw Harry behind her. The hurt glare in his dark green eyes told her that he had heard everything.

"Harry..." she started, trying to say something. Anything! But he back away, before turning tail.

Cho felt a tear slip out her eye as she realized what had just happened. Marietta must have seen him there, but she basically let Cho say that she was using Harry right to his face.

She didn't try to follow Harry, but Cho did decided on thing. Maybe she needed to rethink who her friends were.

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	13. Chapter 13

AN: Sorry about taking so long. I wasn't in the mood to write. Also, this chapter is slightly shorter than the last couple.

I hope you enjoy!

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A couple days later

/Maybe he's running late/ Harry decided, as he waiting at the sidewalk in front of the school for Sirius to pick him up.

This had been happening more often lately. Harry was honestly starting get worried about Sirius. His godfather had seemed to have given up... on something; Harry had no idea what had caused it, but he had a feeling it had something to do with him.

Sirius still made it to work, most days, although his boss had started to call home, leaving messages on the machine. Often, Sirius didn't leave the room. When he took Harry to school it was like their roles had reversed. It was Harry that actually tried to start conversations, so used to Sirius trying to talk to him. Usually Sirius just grunted then went quiet again.

And Harry had no idea what to do; he refused to talk about it with Dr. Atrum. This was about Sirius, not him.

So, Harry sat on the sidewalk and waited.

After a while, Harry realized he wasn't alone. He look up behind and saw Cho. Instantly, he felt resentment towards the girl. "What do you want?" Harry asked, almost growling. Actually, he wanted to get up and walk away, but didn't want to give her the satisfaction of him running away again.

"Can we talk, Harry?" She ask quietly. Cho completely expected him to tell her off, but he didn't.

"About what? We're not together."

"I know. I'm sorry." She was quiet for a moment, fidgeting. "I really did like you."

"How can you say that?!" Harry looked incredulously at her. "You honestly expect me to believe that."

"I understand that you don't believe me. I did, do, like you, just not as a boyfriend." Cho grimaced at the admission. "You really are different from the other guys. I was telling the truth when I said I like that about you." She trailed off and things were silent for a moment.

"What about the bet? You still used me, even if you are sorry." Harry stood up, suddenly, and faced her. "I let you have take my virginity over a bet. What about that?!" He yelled. It was like a damn was breaking, letting small streams of his anger out. "You know, I could say you raped me that night, if wanted to. I don't care about the so called code of 'masculinity'. I could do it."

"But you wouldn't, would you." Cho wasn't asking. She really didn't think he was the type to do something like that, even if she did deserve it. "And you never exactly told me no."

"I didn't want to have sex with you and you knew it." Cho couldn't deny it.

"Could you ever forgive me?" She pleaded one last time.

"Are you really sorry?" Harry stared at her, still looking angry, but not as much as before.

"Yes. I am." She had to get him to believe her!

"What about your friends. Do they know you're doing this?" Cho's silence told Harry what he needed to know. Her reputation was more important. "Than you can get away from me."

Harry started to walk away; he would just get home on his own.

"I'll tell them, Harry! I'm sorry!" Cho yelled, but Harry didn't turn around. /I really do want to be your friend/, she thought as she watched him walk away.

/Starting today, I'll be a real friend. I'll show you./ Cho smiled slightly.

It felt like a weight had been lifted from her heart as she thought those words.

Cho knew she could do it, for him.

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Harry got home to find the house a wreck; it hadn't looked this bad in even when he first moved in. Chairs were turned over, a mirror was broken, and several other things around the house were destroyed. Glass bottles were also strewn here and there, some were whole but a couple looked like they had been thrown and had broken. There was also a nauseating sour smell in the house, causing Harry to wrinkle his nose.

The worry that Harry had before suddenly intensified. Was Sirius here? Did he do this?

His heart raced as he searched the house, leaving Sirius' room for last. It was a place he had never been in; Sirius had always closed the door behind him.

Harry knocked first, hoping the man had just came home to rest after work and accidentally fell asleep. That would explain him not picking Harry up. But what about everything else. There was a possibility, but not one Harry wanted to think about...

Nothing answered Harry's knock so he opened the door slightly, glancing inside. It was dark inside and the smell was worse. He tried to calm down as he opened the door more. With the light from the rest of the house he finally made out a boot on the bed. Finally, Harry pushed the door all the way open. He could do this. There was nothing to be afraid of, it was only Sirius.

Harry's reassurances crumbled at the sight in front of him, causing the boy to grip the door handle to keep from falling to his knees. The man looked dead.

Sirius was sprawled on the bed, shirtless. His black hair was in even more disarray than usual completely covering his face, which was hanging over the side of the bed.

Sirius had told his almost immediately after they met that he had his own problems; was this what he meant?

All of a sudden, a groan came from the still body. Harry instantly started at the sound, quickly moving around the the other side of the bed, so he could see Sirius' face.

Harry felt sickness rise in his stomach the moment he saw the vomit on the floor, right under the man's head. "Sirius!" This time he did fall to his knees, avoiding the mess.

Without hesitating, he reached for Sirius' shoulder, shaking him slightly. He did move immediately, so Harry started to shake him again, when Sirius groaned again.

"Sirius." He said again, as the man began to stir.

"Harry?" Harry heard the man finally mumble, nothing else came.

"Yes. It's me." Harry said, his voice had a slight tremor. There was no returning answer, Sirius continued to lay there, semi-conscious. "Sirius?"

A minute went by, with Harry still prodding the man. He still didn't move. Calling his name didn't help either.

"Sirius! Please wake up!" Harry frantically pushed his one last time, before running for the phone. He couldn't think of anything else to do.

After dropping the receiver a couple of times, he finally managed to dial the number and waited anxiously for someone to answer.

"Police department." A woman spoke from the other end.

"It's my god-father. There's something wrong with him!" Harry yelled into the phone.

"Please calm down." The voice on the other end replied. "Now could you describe what the problem is?"

"Yes, umm... I think he's unconscious. He's been drinking, a lot. And... he got sick at some point."

"How is his breathing?" The woman asked calmly from the other end.

Harry ran his finger's through his hair, in nervousness. It was a reflex he had picked up from Sirius. "I don't know. He's in the other room. I think he was when I left. Should I go check?" Should he have stayed in the room? No, he had to leave to call. There was no phone in Sirius' room.

"It's ok, that's enough information. Now, you said he was drinking?" The woman asked.

"Um... yes. I'm not sure how much, though."

"Did anything happen before he passed out?"

"I don't know. He was like this before I came home." Harry answered, not understanding why she was asking.

"Good. Now, make sure he's not on his back. An ambulance will be at your address momentarily."

Harry didn't wait to hear the rest, instead placing the phone and then running back to Sirius' side.

He was still unconscious.

Harry had no idea what to do, now, so he sat down beside Sirius and did the only thing he could.

Wait.

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	14. Chapter 14

The ambulance came howling through the night, not that Harry noticed it.

Sirius still hadn't budged.

The paramedics rushed around him; one was asking him questions. What he was saying, Harry didn't know. "Will Sirius be alright?" He asked, finally paying attention.

"We think so. He has alcohol poisoning, but he'll live." The man's answer did give Harry little comfort, as Sirius and himself were loaded into the ambulance.

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Harry wasn't allowed in to see Sirius. It had been a day and Harry had stayed in the hospital overnight. The nurses were seeing about contacting... someone. Harry had no idea who.

They said Harry had to be removed from his custody. A social worker was being called. And his psychiatrist. The social worker said it was best that he have some one to talk to after such a 'traumatizing event'.

Harry wanted to see Sirius. He needed to see that his god-father, the one who actually cared for him, was all right. Harry didn't need his doctor.

However his opinion was asked for, so Harry didn't give it, after being denied the right to see Sirius.

Dr. Atrum found Harry half sleep in the waiting room. He shook Harry gently, to get his attention and ignored the glare that was subsequently directed at him.

It was a good thing they called him, as the doctor knew they would. Miss Umbridge, the social worker assigned to Harry, had done the right thing.

"Harry, are you all right?" Christopher asked, sitting beside Harry.

"Don't call me that." Harry didn't know why, but he hated it when Dr. Atrum called him Harry. It didn't affect him when most other people used his name.

"Harry, I been your doctor for a while now. Don't you think it's about time you at least let me use your name?" The doctor seemed genuinely puzzled.

Harry had been about to answer when he heard a little cough coming from the door. It was a stout woman in a pink business suit.

"Hello, Harry. I see that Mr. Atrum was able to find you." The short woman took a seat across from them. Harry didn't like how she used his name either. "Now Harry, as you may know, I'm your social worker, Miss Delores Umbridge."

/Social worker?/ Harry had honestly never knew he had one. "I didn't know I had one."

"Of course you wouldn't need to know! As long as you are taken care off." She exclaimed, as if it was obvious.

"I would have liked to know." Harry said, but was ignored.

"Now I'm here to see about your placement, as it is obvious your... godfather, is a poor candidate. I wasn't sure about that convict from the beginning. But no worries, you are safe now." Umbridge said smiling.

"I don't want to live with anyone else. I want to stay with Sirius." Harry's voice rose as he said this. /Convict?/

Umbridge looked surprised, than quickly pasted a smile back on. "Oh my dear boy! But surely you are traumatized. Don't you agree, Dr. Atrum." It was clear the man knew no better than to just nod. Harry's feelings of dislike for the doctor sharply increased. She was trying to take him away from Sirius and he wasn't doing anything to stop her! Even Harry knew he was... getting better, living with Sirius. Surely the doctor could tell Harry needed him!

"I need to see Sirius!" Harry exclaimed, rising to his feet.

"I'm sorry but that isn't possible. I have come to retrieve you. I have found a new orphanage for you, New Madison has been deemed unacceptable. Dumbldore should have know better. Really, a murderer like Sirius Black. It is clear the old man is... severely mentally handicapped. I am glad to say he has been relieved and New Madison has been shut down."

Was this really supposed to make Harry feel better! He knew that Dumbldore loved running the orphanage, that he love the children! He was removed over one mistake. /Sirius was a murder?/ It was finally starting to sink in. Dumbldore threatening to call the police on him if he talked to Harry without permission. The officer knowing of Sirius when Harry 'ran away'. Sirius' depression.

But Harry still didn't think Sirius was a bad person. And he must have served his time if Dumbldore allowed Sirius to adopt him.

"Can I at least say goodbye?" Harry glared at her, still standing.

"I don't think-"

"Maybe it would be for the best." Dr. Atrum spoke up. Umbridge stared at him, affronted that he would go against her, before finally agreeing.

"Maybe, but it will have to be supervised. The man is a killer, you must remember." The obnoxiously cheerful woman chided him.

/I'll find out that for myself./ "I want to see him immediately." Now that the excitement was over, Harry seemed to revert, talking more quietly.

"I'll talk to his doctor." Mr. Atrum quickly spoke up, leaving the room.

To Harry's relief, Umbridge left as well, saying she would be back when plans were finalized. He had no idea what plans she meant.

Both Christopher and the doctor arrived around ten minutes later to escort Harry.

All of Harry's fear started to come back during the walk to Sirius' room. Was Sirius really all right? He had looked almost dead the last time Harry Saw him.

The one question Harry was avoiding was why Sirius did it.

His godfather was barely awake when Harry entered the room. The Doctors were thankfully watching from outside the room.

"Harry?" Instantly, Harry moved over to his side. "Are you there."

"Yes, Sirius." He stared sadly at the broken man.

"They're taking you away, aren't they. Because I messed up." Harry knew he didn't need to answer, but he nodded anyway.

Sirius' eyes closed for a moment and they both were still.

"I almost did myself in this time, Harry."

"I know."

"I'm sorry. I was weak."

"The social worker said you killed someone." Harry had to know.

"Yeah, I did."

Harry took a step back, shocked that Sirius' would admit to murder that easily.

"I was drunk. Stupid and drunk." Sirius laughed to himself. "I'm gay, did you know that Harry? Does that bother you?" Sirius did want an answer.

Harry did think about it, but no. Sirius was still Sirius. "No."

"I didn't think it would. You're not like that. You know, I've never told anyone entirely what happened, Harry. Not even that god forsaken psychiatrist the court made me see. But I suppose, if I tell anyone it should be you. Your dad didn't like it. When I told him, about me and Remus."

While Sirius would often tell Harry about his parents, usually when he couldn't sleep, this was the first time he had ever mentioned Remus.

"He was a friend of ours. We grew up together, went to school together. Remus was always picked on as a kid; he was disfigured. He was the victim of a dog attack, a rottweiler that his step-father own. He was a cruel man and made Remus feed it. One day the dog just snapped and... This was before James and I met him."

"Damn it, those kids were so cruel to him, not that we had been that much different; Lily constantly told us to just leave him alone. I was especially cruel. I suppose I taunted him the most, was the most harsh. I thought it was just good fun. Then I learned better. James had Lily to make him leave Remus alone. Even then, Lily had a hold on him." Sirius smiled to himself. Harry himself, was absorbed in the story.

"One day, I just really looked at Remus. I don't know why, but I just stared at him and wondered what I was doing to him. I surprised the both of us and kissed him. I didn't even think I was gay, and I kissed him. Remus did push me away, of course. He thought I was still taunting him; but I couldn't have known. Only, the think was, I liked kissing him. So I would corner him, snog the life out him and leave. I suppose it wasn't the nicest thing, but I had no idea what else to do. I did finally get up the confidence to ask him out. I'm pretty sure Remus only said yes out of fear of what I would do if I didn't."

Sirius turned to Harry; his eyes were full of regret. "Remus and you are a lot alike, unfortunately. He was often afraid of the people around him. I told James I was befriending Remus; I think even he thought I had an ulterior motive. But I didn't. It took a while for even Remus to believe me; it took until I feel in love with him. I asked him to live with me after school. I half expected Remus to say no; I hadn't told him I loved him. But he said yes.

"That was when I told James, everything. After, he couldn't believe ever I meant to honorable to Remus. He wanted nothing more to do with me I if was using him. I don't known what he told Lily, but she went with him and I haven't seen them since. I wasn't playing with Remus. We moved in together, got jobs, or rather he got a job and I went back to school. He was a police officer. Remus wanted to help people. He was the best. The officers were just like the kids at school at first, but Remus proved himself. Being disfigured didn't stop him from working; he just wasn't the prettiest thing around.

"But one day my eyes wondered. Remus always thought they would. I had been with Remus for years at that point. I wondered if I had settled down to soon. I had accepted that I liked men, but did I really want spend the rest of my life with Remus? I cheated on him. I went to a bar, found a good looking guy. I slept with him. He only wanted a one night stand and I felt awful afterwards for doing it. But what I felt was nothing compared to what Remus felt after he found out. Turns out the asshole I slept with was dating a guy in Remus' precinct. They had an... open relationship.

"Remus never told me, but I knew I was caught. He acted like it never happened and like coward I was, I never admitted it. That was when I first started drinking. Remus hated it, but he never said a think.

"Then Remus took the type of case he promised never would. He went undercover on a drug bust. I hadn't seen him for two weeks when I was told Remus was dead. That he had jumped in front of a bullet."

Tears had formed in both Harry's and Sirius' eyes at this point; The desperation Sirius had felt then hadn't faded any. "I never told him I loved him."

"I went to a bar and got drunk off my ass first thing. The bar tender tried to take my keys, but I wouldn't let him. I thought I could drive. I didn't make it one mile before I got into trouble. I was driving fine at first but the I felt a bump, thought I had hit a dog, So I pulled over got out. I heard a woman screaming on the side of rode; I guess she called the police. I thought she was overreacting, all of that over a dog. I went to get it out of the road, didn't want anyone else to run over it. Only, it wasn't a dog. It was a boy."

Sirius looked again to Harry. "I was charged with vehicular manslaughter and sent to jail for three years."

"His name was Cedric Diggory." 


End file.
